Jack has been in his room for hours with his cell phone. He
is texting. Who is he texting? What is he texting? How can a parent monitor
what their child is saying, doing or sending?
How much privacy can you give
your child with their cellphone? This is a complex question that relies on many
variables. How much privacy is
acceptable in your family? Are you a family that shares many things openly and
easily? How much do you trust your child to tell you what is happening in their
life? Regardless of the answers to these questions, parents should have their
child’s cellphone password as well as their email and Facebook account
usernames and passwords. Whether and how often the parent feels they need to
check these accounts will vary but the child should know that a check is
possible and probable.
Adolescents may balk at their
parents checking up on them or looking at their private conversations. I’m sure
there have been plenty of kids that are horrified at the notion that their
parents may see something private. Nevertheless, children as well as
adolescents need to know that their parents are aware of what they are doing
and that there may be consequences or at least questions to answer. In my
opinion, this may be the difference between a kid pushing the send button
immediately and the two seconds the child may take to question their comment,
response, picture or post.
It
is also important to talk to your kids about appropriate cell phone use,
pictures and language. It is important to set down some clear rules about what
is fun and harmless and what is potentially harmful and inappropriate. Kids do
not always have the foresight or experience to understand long-term
consequences. In my experience, these potential consequences may have to be
spelled out without too much exaggeration a few times before a child
understands or integrates them.
***Jean
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